Pre-Departure Anxiety

Last night I had another Camino-related anxiety dream.

The first one occurred a few weeks ago after I bought a train ticket to St. Jean Pied de Port (my intended starting point). There are a million things to decide, including WHEN to go and WHERE to start and HOW LONG to be away. Eventually you just have to starting picking things, and then build the logistics around that.

I decided I will leave Luxembourg on 10/10/2014. Double Ten Day, if you're Chinese. It's an easy date to remember, and has some significance because the DH and I lived/taught English in Taiwan before we were married. I believe we celebrated Double Ten Day weeping with homesickness and watching a Tina Turner concert on TV.

So there's that.

I bought myself a train ticket from Luxembourg to Metz, Metz to Paris Est, Paris Montparnasse to Bayonne, Bayonne to Cambo les Bains, and finally, Cambo les Bain to St. Jean Pied de Port. I leave at 07h40, and arrive in time for dinner just about 12 hours later at 19h24.

I booked myself  a bed and dinner/breakfast at a hostel called Beilari for 26EUR. For an additional 4EUR, they will provide me with a lunch for the next day.

I also booked the next night (October 11) at the Real Colegiata in Roncesvalles. This one costs 10EUR for a bed. If I understand correctly, I have to find a restaurant for dinner.

After that, I'll just have to play it by ear.

The night I made these arrangements, I dreamt I was at the hostel in Roncesvalles at dinner time. It was a buffet sort of affair, and I was very tired and hungry and a bit confused as to how things worked. I set my tray down at one point and wandered off to find something to drink. When I returned, my tray of food had been cleared away. Dinner was over, and I was out of luck.

Last night I dreamt that I returned to a parking lot only to realize that our car was no longer there. It had apparently been stolen. This was bad, but not as bad as the realization that all of my in-current-use hiking gear lives in the back of our car (really), and it, too, was gone. I was especially sick about the dream loss of my hiking boots. It took me three pairs of boots to find the pair I am currently wearing. It would be a real pain to have to replace them now. I woke up quite shaken.

I was talking to someone recently about the mix of emotions I'm feeling now that I've set this thing in motion and made it public. It's sort of like how I felt both times I was pregnant: I wanted to be pregnant, but there was still this moment of "Oh, shit. What have I gotten myself into?" The Camino is a similar feeling: it's big and long and no one can do it for me.